Crimson
by DevilCuriosity
Summary: Had Edward lost his wits? Did he think his six-month absence was somehow excusable? Shortly after his comeback to Forks, Bella makes a decision that will change her life - she chooses to stay with Jacob. Meanwhile, her world still remains jeopardized by the vampiric forces of power. As family ties are lost and bonds are broken, will Bella's humanity prevail?
1. Letting Go

**This story occurs just after Bella flies to Italy to rescue Edward from killing himself. Rather than falling back into love with Edward, she's mad at him - the way any rational human being ought to react after the love of her life ditched her. I'm trying to give Bella a little more strength and in the process, see how utterly necessary it is to **_**keep **_**Jacob in her life, and possibly even choose him over Edward. Is that so much to ask for?**

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_But if each day, each hour,_

_you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness,_

_if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me,_

_ah my love, ah my own,_

_in me all that fire is repeated,_

_in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,_

_my love feeds on your love, beloved,_

_and as long as you live it will be in your arms without leaving mine._

"If You Forget Me" by Pablo Neruda

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_**Letting Go **_

There were so many things I wanted to say to him as he sat beside me. It was a hard fact to swallow that here was the one who broke my heart into pieces. He left me bleeding like an irreparable war wound as he stalked off toward the life he had saved for himself. He walked out of my world without thinking of the consequences. My fists clenched unconsciously as I sat there and allowed my thoughts to almost eat me alive.

I was angry. The anger boiled up to the tip of my tongue, exhuming every emotion I had felt for the past six months. I couldn't take this awkward silence any more. If there was any ounce of compassion left in the world, then it had to be me who deserved some semblance of closure.

"How are you feeling?" I asked stupidly, the softness of my heart giving me away much too quickly. He looked at me, eyebrows raised. "What?" I said, my eyes suddenly expressionless.

"Bella, I should be asking you that question." His eyes were drenched in agony, and wary too. "I'm so sorry, Bella," he said. "For every moment of pain I've caused you."

I could feel his stare burn into my soul as he sat there and waited for me to voice my thoughts. How was I ever going to do this if he continued to keep up with the self-deprecation this way? It made everything seem that much more unfair. It was hard enough to blame him, and harder still that he blamed himself.

"I believe you," I said evenly, the coldness reverberating off of every syllable. He didn't speak and this was my cue to continue. "But you left me, Edward." The words were flat and empty, their meaning lost forever. I closed my eyes and leaned back on the pillow, allowing myself to breathe properly before my temper got the best of me. I was no longer touching him. It had been hard enough back in the dark tunnels of Volterra as he snaked his arm around my waist and inhaled too deeply when he planted sweet kisses into my hair. After six months without him, I realized how sickeningly intoxicating his presence was. I couldn't live this way any more, and I was glad that I had realized this sooner rather than later. I couldn't imagine my state of being if our love had continued the way it had. It was too much.

"I know, and I-" he began just as I cut him off.

"Please," I begged, desperation oozing out of me. "Don't do this to me. Not now." I was quivering before I realized it, and he reached out for my hand. I immediately snatched it back in horror as I crossed my arms over my chest. I knew the tears were brimming off the rim and trailing down the sides of my cheeks as I sat there, staring at the empty space in front of us.

"Bella," he said, slow and uncertain. His voice was heavy with tension. I can't remember the last time I heard that voice. It would've been the loveliest of sounds once upon a time but now, it was agonized and strained. It was a version of his voice that I couldn't recall because I had never heard it this way before. I sniffled before gathering myself together again, making sure never to touch him.

"All this time," I finally began, easing into the comfort of what confidence I had left, "and the pain is still so strong. Sometimes, I can't feel my heart beating." I nodded disapprovingly to myself. "I've never been so miserable in my life. And the darkness… everything was so dark." I looked at him in disbelief as I noted my own words. He stared back at me in horror, seeing the emptiness in my eyes that were now a permanent fixture.

"Bella, I-" He took a deep breath. "I owe you an apology. No, of course I owe you much, much more than that. But you have to know"-the words began to flow so fast, the way I remembered he spoke sometimes when he was agitated, that I really had to concentrate to catch them all-"that I had no idea. I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was safe for you here. I wanted you to be safe." He looked at me now, his eyes tinged with a hint of sadness. "Please know that I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick to my core, even now. I am the most miserable excuse for-"

"Stop," I interrupted him. He stared at me with agonized eyes as I tried to find the right words. Words that would free him from this imagined obligation that caused him so much pain. They were very hard words to say. But I had to try to do it right. "I don't want to blame you for doing what you did. But I-I can't pretend that everything will go back to what it was before you left." I sighed heavily.

He stood silent for a few seconds, letting my words sink in. After a moment, he spoke. "Of course, I understand. But you have to know that none of this changes how I feel about you." He looked at me once again, his gaze burning into my soul. I turned back to stare at the blank space in front of me. We still had a few hours before landing in Seattle and the sky outside looked like a black canopy; I could see nothing as I starred out into the blackness.

"A lot of things have changed," I said quietly, hoping he would catch my drift in between the lines. He was silent so I continued. "Six months might not be a lot of time for you, but it can change a lot for someone like me."

"Bella, I-"

I raised a hand to stop him from continuing. "Don't you see it, Edward?" I asked, now turning my whole body around so that I faced him. The tears had stopped and I was as ready as I would ever be. "I don't know what you're thinking. How could I have known that you had felt so bad about what had happened on my birthday? You feeling so bad that you had to leave me in order to keep me safe? How does any of that make sense to me?" I stared at him, a little confused by my own questions, hoping that he could pluck my point out of the mess of words I had stringed together.

"But Jasper almost killed you," he said, his fists clenched until his knuckles turned a chalky white. "I didn't expect for you to understand, Bella. Your safety comes first, before everything else."

"So I didn't have a choice as to whether or not I wanted my boyfriend to stay beside me?" I could feel the heat rushing up to my cheeks now, and it wasn't because I was embarrassed. The anger had finally found its opening. "I know you aren't capable of knowing how I feel, both mentally and physically. Human emotions can't be studied, Edward, they have to be experienced." I took a deep breath before continuing. "After you left, I realized how much sensitivity I had as a human being. Would you have ever felt what I felt if you were in my position?" I nodded to myself, answering my own question all the while starring into his dark eyes. "I'm so much more vulnerable because of what I am. To be with you heightens all of these vulnerabilities like you wouldn't believe."

"You're absolutely right, Bella," he said, his face serious. "I would never know how you truly feel but you have to know that I was wrong. So wrong."

"It doesn't change what you did," I said evenly, hoping that fact would sink into him. At the same time, I couldn't forgive myself for feeling so guilty in hurting him this way. These things just had to be said if I was going to put this behind me. If I could ever put it behind me.

Before I had the chance to mull over his words, the soft _ping_ of the seat belt sign overhead lighted up, gesturing that we fasten our seat belts because Seattle wasn't far away. I was momentarily distracted when a bubbly flight attendant came over and asked us if we needed anything. Funny enough, she had been starring at Edward the entire time she spoke. I asked for a Diet Coke, she nodded at Edward and took off. I stared at the now unoccupied space that she was standing in a few moments ago and sighed.

"You're drinking diet now?" Edward asked, somewhat amused.

"It's an acquired taste," I said, my eyes focused on the tips of my Keds.

"Bella, look at me," he said a little more strongly this time. I refused. Before I knew it, I felt a cold finger gently lift my chin, forcing me to turn and look at him. My eyes fell downward before I gave in and looked up. "I've missed you like hell, do you know that?" He said, a faint smile broadening across his lips. He was still as beautiful as I remembered him and seeing him now made all of the emotions rise up through the pit of my stomach, forcing the tears to sting my face again. He frowned as he saw all of the misery pour out of me like a fountain. Before I knew it, I felt his arms around me, hugging me more roughly than he normally would and then letting go altogether.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, please make sure that your seat belt is fastened. We will be landing in just a few minutes,_" the flight attendant announced overhead. I took one good look at Edward before I turned back around and closed my eyes, readying myself for the nausea-inducing landing that would literally knock reality back into me.

I was finally home.

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**Author's Note:**

So I had this crazy idea that there _might_ have been a chance for Bella to stop and consider the consequences of Edward's departure after rescuing his a$$ in New Moon. Like any other rational human person, she might actually stop to think about what's happened now that Edward is back. Not everything is going to be the same and her relationships have both changed and developed with different people (*ahem* Jacob). She's experiencing mixed feelings about the guys in her life but rather than getting all sappy and blind sighted by these emotions, she takes it to heart and realizes that there is only one person she wants to be with (*ahem* Jacob).

Also, I'm writing as realistically as possible. It's kind of lame when I read so many pro-Jacob fics that outwardly villainize Edward without any proper justification. I'm not gonna flame Edward because I don't like him; I'm gonna state things as close to the book as possible because I want it to be believable.

Oh, and reviews are most welcomed.


	2. Coming Home

**Chapter 2**

_**Coming Home**_

As if being on the plane with Edward for so many hours wasn't hard enough, I swallowed the lump in my throat as I walked out of the terminal and saw the vague but distinctly familiar outline of the rest of the Cullens. Each and every one of them stood there like untouched statues of beauty, the same cold stillness reverberating off of them as I had remembered before. I took a deep breath and followed behind Edward, my hand hesitantly entwined in his.

It had nearly been half a year since I had seen them. For reasons unexplained, something felt out of place. Rather than feeling comforted or protected or calmed, I felt... awkward. It was the awkwardness of discomfort, the fact that they had suddenly become strangers to me. Never in my wildest dreams had I expected for this to happen. I felt edgy, uneasy and a little wary. As all of these emotions washed over me within the span of a few seconds, I stopped myself before it could get any worse. I took a deep breath and smiled as we approached them.

Alice immediately dashed over to Jasper and they embraced each other as if it were their last moment together. She had been quiet the whole way through on the plane, and had even offered to sit a few rows ahead of us, just so that we could have some time alone. I was happy to see her reunited with Jasper, seeing as to how worried she was over him earlier. I could feel the eyes of everyone else on me as I leveled myself beside Edward and gently pulled my hand away. When I looked up, I saw the butterscotch eyes of Carlisle. I smiled, not sure where to begin.

"I can't thank you enough, Bella," he said understandably as he stepped forward and pulled me into an embrace. "We couldn't have done this without you."

"It's true," Esme said softly from behind and within seconds, she appeared and wrapped her arms around me just as Carlisle pulled away. "Thank you, sweetheart," she said. And just as they let go, I could immediately pick out the sweet scent of aftershave and honeysuckle, a scent that was familiar and strange.

I didn't know what to say or how to respond. I didn't feel like I deserved the gratitude. In fact, I felt that I should've been blamed for this because if it weren't for my idiotic behavior earlier, Edward wouldn't have done what he did. All the same, here stood Carlisle and Esme in all of their kindness, thanking me rather than blaming me for their son's near-death experience.

"It-it was nothing," I muttered back, unable to conjure up anything else.

"We should get going," Emmett said, the deepness of his voice throwing me off guard. I looked up at him and he smiled wide, showing all of his perfectly white teeth, which managed to bring back the unsettling feeling I always had when I looked at that smile. I then looked over at Carlisle as he nodded in response.

"Bella, I'm sure we can give you a ride back and get you something to eat," he said. "You look terrible." His face still bright as I smiled idiotically and stood there, not sure of what I should do next. After a few seconds of awkwardness, I shook my head.

"Actually, I have to call Charlie so I'll probably get a ride back with him."

"Of course," Carlisle replied. "But we want to thank you properly so we'll be in touch again. Given the suddenness of coming back home this way, there are a few things we need to settle. But again, thank you for what you've done."

I could do nothing but smile apologetically at Dr. Cullen. Not only in response to what he said but to the reality of what was happening. From what I gathered, they were all back in town and would need to do a bit of explaining to everyone. Either way, there was one realization I could confirm with confidence: it had been the most awkward 15 minutes of my life. I had to get myself out of here to think and organize my head. Shit was everywhere. In what became a confusing shuffle of bags being picked up and limbs moving in every direction, all of the Cullens managed to glide to the door as they looked back with smiles. All except one. I wasn't really looking at the figure in front of me until I focused my view and saw Edward. With an unreadable mask, he stood there and looked right at me.

"I have to call Charlie," I said quickly, hoping I could make a run for it. I smiled, nodded absently and then began backing away. As I turned around and walked in the opposite direction, I looked back and saw him donning the same lack of expression as before. He nodded briefly and then turned for the doorway.

And that was the last I saw of Edward as I turned back and headed for a separate exit door.

* * *

"Dad, I know what you're thinking," I said exasperatedly.

"No you don't, Bells," Charlie replied, his face tangled up with so many different emotions that I couldn't pick them out if I wanted to. But after ruling out all of the logical possibilities, I would guess that he was nothing short of crabby. Without much thought, I began shoving a few choice items from the table into my tote.

"Where do you think you're going?" Charlie asked.

"I have to talk to Jacob," I said, my tone laced with urgency. I looked at Charlie with pleading eyes and knew he couldn't resist giving in when it came to Jacob. Besides, I needed to see my best friend.

"Be back by eleven," Charlie said a minute later. I smiled at him and headed for the door.

It had been a week since I came back from Volterra, Italy. I was obviously grounded for life but after explaining things as best as I could to Charlie, I knew he had understood somewhere along the way. The biggest thing to convince him otherwise was the fact that I was still tied to Jacob and couldn't live without him. He was my best friend and Charlie's favorite. The two had to coincide at some point and that's what got me here.

As I drove up the familiar dirt road that led to the homely little red house, so many thoughts were whirling through my head. What would I say to Jacob after practically ditching him that night as I fled the country to save a vampire? I'm sure he would be furious with me and wouldn't know where to begin. That's how a lot of things were between us. I was always the one to give him a headache and I can't help it. Maybe that's why we're still best friends, because we're the only two people in the world that can tolerate each other this way.

As if my Chevy's hyperventilating engine couldn't be enough of a door-knocker a mile away, I somehow sensed that he was standing nearby, ready to hand it to me. I wouldn't blame him for it either. As I pulled up to the front of his house, I saw him standing against the frame of the front door, arms crossed, his face blank. I got out of my truck slowly, my sight darting on everything around the perimeter except him.

"Nice of you to stop by," he said evenly, in that familiar boyish voice that I had grown to love so much. I looked up at him, half smiling and half frowning because I couldn't tell if he was angry or mellowed out.

"It's okay if you don't want to let me in, or if you don't want me within 15 feet of your house," I said. "I'll understand. I deserve it." I stood beside my orange truck, my hands tucked into my back pockets as I looked at him apologetically. I could see him peering at me, as if he were trying to read into my expression and just as he did that, I turned away and looked back down at my shoes. Just as my eyes roamed over the ground I was standing on, I heard the front door close and looked up as Jacob made his way toward me.

"So they're back, huh?" He asked, no hint of sarcasm or anger present. I looked at him and then peered into his face a moment later to see if there were any hidden messages. Just as I did that, he laughed. I pulled back and crinkled my eyebrows reactively. As I stared at him, a smile broke across my face and then I suddenly felt myself grinning wide. I instinctively dived in and wrapped my arms around Jacob's neck and I could feel him tense up and react a moment later. He followed suit and wrapped his arms around me as we stood there and bear-hugged each other, never wanting to let go.

"Thanks, Jake," I said as I closed my eyes and inhaled a breath of fresh air, squeezing him a little tighter so that he didn't have a chance to pull away just yet. The world suddenly seemed a lot brighter once I knew that Jacob and I were on good terms. And even better, that he wasn't angry with me taking off to save Edward. We pulled away a long moment later and I looked up at him. He smiled.

"So," he began, "is this the last time I'll ever get to see you?"

"What do you mean?" I said, confused.

"Didn't you come to say goodbye?" He looked at me and I noticed how soft his eyes were this time around. Like he had given up and lost his heat. He looked defeated and worn out and tired. So tired. Just as I began to piece things together, I blurted out the first response that came to mind.

"Where am I going?" I asked. He crinkled his brow reactively.

"You don't have to lie to me, Bella," he said, his tone laced with sadness. "It's okay."

Did Jacob think that I had run off to save Edward and was now back in love with him? For someone who was my best friend, he wasn't very perceptive. All the same, he looked so hurt as he stood in front of me, like he was in pain just standing there.

"It's not okay," I said, my voice heavy, "because this isn't the last time you'll see me." He was looking down at the ground in front of us, refusing to look me in the eyes. I cupped his lean face in my small hands and made him look at me. "I'm not going anywhere unless it's with you, Jake." I tried to smile under my frown as we looked at each other. I think he got my meaning because a moment later, he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me so tight that I thought my lungs were going to burst. And then I felt myself lifted off the ground as he continued to hug all of the air out of me.

"Jake-you're-killing-me," I said between breaths, hoping he would loosen his grip before I lost consciousness. Surely enough, he immediately let go and pulled back, putting some space between us.

"Sorry," he said with a grin, all traces of sadness disappearing by the second. He was like his old self again, his warmth spreading into every molecule of air around us. He continued to stare at me and a moment later, wrapped his arms around me again, more gently this time, and we held each other for what seemed like a lifetime. "I'm glad you're back," he said a minute later as I smiled to myself.

"Me too," I said as we pulled away from each other a moment later.

"What's wrong?" Jacob asked as he noticed my thoughtful expression.

"They want me to visit them soon," I said, remembering that day at the airport all too clearly.

I knew that at some point, I would have to see them and let them know how I truly felt about their disappearance. It was just as hurtful and consequential as Edward's. And I might even have to throw in a warning about how the townspeople in Forks weren't taking too kindly to their return. It was something I dreaded doing but knew that I would eventually have to square away at some point. I would rather just get this over with already. I had nothing against the Cullens, but I was in no mood to see them after everything that's happened. I'm just wasn't ready for another round of awkwardness.

"Why?" He asked, his tone a little more stern this time.

"Because I need to settle a lot with the Cullens," I said, more to myself than to Jacob. "They need to know that I love them, but that things have changed." I saw Jacob's very slight flinch at the mention of their name out of the corner of my eye. "What do you think?" I looked over at him.

"You do what you have to do," Jacob said evenly, an encouraging smile spreading across his face. He looked at me in the same manner that he was doing earlier, except this time it was more of a softened loving expression rather than a sad one. "And if you want me to be there," he said, "you know I'm down."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Aw, Jacob. I love Jacob.

I also changed the title of this story to "Crimson." Makes for a more epic story to come.


	3. Natural Scenery

**Chapter 3**

_**Natural Scenery**_

The drapes were just as I had remembered them. A soft but pale silver, with subtle traces of metallic thread weaving throughout the fabric. These drapes were massive, capable of covering an entire wall of glass whenever you didn't want the sunlight to come in. The furniture looked as if it had never been moved; the chic sofa sets and ottomans were still where I remember seeing them, and the oversized flower vases were placed strategically wherever they looked best. I tried looking for something that was out of place, but I couldn't even find a missing a remote control out of the many that were on one of the coffee tables. What was more surprising was that I remembered so much of this place and how it looked during the time I spent here. And from the look of it, you would have never guessed that this beautiful, colonial-style house was ever abandoned. Not even for a day.

I waited awkwardly as Jasper went upstairs to find the person I was looking for. Even for vampires, this was taking a while and I was beginning to get uncomfortable. I made my way to the window wall that looked out into the deep forest and stared into the dense green, my thoughts zipping by so fast that I couldn't get a hold of them.

"Bella?" A soft voice had said. This was not the voice I wanted to hear.

"Carlisle," I replied as I turned around and smiled, a little disappointed that the person that I was looking for didn't want to see or speak to me. "Do you know where Rosalie is?"

"Rosalie isn't here right now, she is out hunting with Emmett. Is there anything I can do for you?" His eyes were as soft as caramel and every time I spoke to him, the same tranquil calmness washed over me and I could think clearly. Unfortunately, Carlisle was the one that I could be the most honest with so naturally, my emotions were evident now more than ever. I frowned after the thought had sunken in that Rosalie was out hunting with Emmett.

"How are you doing?" I asked awkwardly, blurting the first words that came to mind, forgetting his last question altogether.

"I'm doing well," he said with an apologetic smile, his gaze sinking ever deeper into my soul. Seconds passed as we stood there. "I have quite a bit of catching up to do with the doctors at the hospital," he finished.

"Oh yeah?" I responded a little too enthusiastically. I smiled again, more idiotically this time, I'm sure. I couldn't bear to look into his eyes again so my gaze darted down at the shiny wooden floor. I heard the ruffling of clothing as Carlisle took a step closer.

"Bella," he said more quietly this time, "what is it?"

I picked up the irresistible scent of Carlisle as he stood inches away from me. His smell had a hint of musky forest mixed in with subtle traces of cologne. If a smell were capable of being elegantly masculine, his was it. The more time had passed, the more intoxicating this moment was becoming. Again, in the presence of Carlisle, I blurted out the first words that came to mind.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, more to myself than to him. I felt his ice cold fingers close in on my arm, forcing me to give him my attention. I looked up at him and was on the verge of tears as I stood there, my thoughts becoming clearer as the seconds ticked by. "I'm sorry that you're coming back like this, that everything is the way it is," I said halfheartedly, unable to speak above the whisper that I was currently at.

"Bella," Carlisle had said again, his softness trembling me by the millisecond. Before I knew it, I started sobbing like a little girl. I felt a sudden coldness encircling me and realized that he had wrapped his arms around me and held me tight, hushing my sobs as he ran his fingers through my hair. It took me a few minutes as I cried my heart out, not realizing how much pain I had endured from when Edward had left up until this point when he was back again, half a year later. There was so much emotional turmoil that had built up inside of me that I didn't realize until now. The realization hit me like a tidal wave and knocked me over so hard that I couldn't even think of recovering from this moment. I didn't want to face Carlisle, not in my current state of mind, not like this.

So I continued to cry. I let out all of the tears that accounted for my confusion, frustration, desperation, and vulnerability during the months that Edward was gone. I don't know how long it was that I stood there in Carlisle's arms, but he didn't seem to mind and neither did I. Out of all of the people in the world, I knew that he would be the most sympathetic toward me. After what seemed like an eternity, I pulled myself away from him as my gaze was pointed at the tear stains that were now all over his expensive Italian dress shirt.

"Oh god," I said through my tears, "I'm sorry about your shirt." I wiped the tears away from my eyes as I continued to stare at the mess that I had made. I then attempted to straighten out his shirt and wiped away whatever wetness I could, as if running my hands through his shirt would magically dry the stains up. It was after moments of scrambling that I finally looked up at him, and I could see a loving smile on his face as he looked at me even more apologetically than before. It was almost embarrassing to have someone as incredible as Carlisle Cullen look at you the way he was looking at me now. I felt absolutely pathetic.

"Bella, please," he said after a moment, taking hold of my hands and placing them beside me. "You don't need to be sorry about anything."

"But I do," I said, now fidgeting with my fingers because there seemed to be nothing else I could think of doing.

"None of this is your fault," he said in a firm voice. "To be completely honest, I don't agree with what Edward did but in the end, it was his decision to make." He paused, thinking to himself before continuing again. "It was wrong that the rest of us supported Edward even though we knew of the consequences that would soon follow." I looked at him now, unable to steer my gaze anywhere else. He nodded in disapproval at himself before finishing. "I'm sorry that you had to endure what you endured, Bella. Never in a hundred lifetimes would I have ever thought of making you live through what Edward did to you. I am truly sorry, if not for Edward, for the rest of our family. There is no way to give back to you what you lost within the past months, but I must tell you how sorry we are, for everything."

I stood there as helpless as ever, unable to say anything in return. Carlisle was right on the money with everything he had said. And when I had really thought about it, I wasn't quite sure why I came here in the first place. Sure, I was looking for Rosalie so that I could talk to her. She was the only Cullen that I had kept in touch with and found consolation in during the months when Edward was away. She was the only one that had e-mailed me back when I sent all of those e-mails to Alice's account, thinking she would reply even thought she didn't. Out of everyone else, Rosalie was surprisingly the one person that empathized with me. But when I thought about my real motive for coming here, it might have been a subconscious reaction. Something instinctive in me might have led me here, seeking vindication for all that has happened.

As I looked down at my hands, I saw that they were trembling. I couldn't get a hold of myself. Then I remembered that Carlisle and I weren't the only ones in the house at the moment. I was sure that Jasper was somewhere and was just being polite because he didn't want to seem intrusive, even though he might have heard everything. I sighed.

"You're right," I said after a long while as I looked up into the face of Dr. Cullen. "There were better ways to deal with what happened on my birthday than what Edward did. I'm not a helpless little girl, he should've been honest with me."

"You're absolutely right," Carlisle agreed. "And I had spoken to him about that before he made his final decision to leave, but he refused to listen to me."

We stood there in silence for the next few minutes, not sure of what would come next. I then nodded to myself and decided to leave the past behind me. There was no use in regretting decisions that were made so long ago, because they were already done and over with. As people, we can't go back and try to change the past. We simply have to deal with the consequences of what has happened to us and go from there.

"It doesn't matter," I said evenly, breaking the silence. "What happened has happened and now the important thing is that we acknowledge what is going on right now, in this moment." I looked over at Carlisle with resolution and he smiled. "What?" I said, feeling myself blush at the sudden attention from the doctor himself.

"You are beyond your years, Bella Swan," Carlisle said admirably. "Unfortunately, this is not the case for Edward and I think we both know that."

"A lot has changed," I said, nodding to myself.

"Without a doubt," replied Carlisle.

The air around me suddenly cleared up and my senses were returning to me again. I could reason with myself and say what I knew I needed to say while I was here. I turned my back on Carlisle and looked out into the natural scenery that was beyond the glass wall. Rabbits and squirrels were hopping about, uprooting flowers that were growing out of the ground in bundles.

"This will take time, and I've got my own things that I have to take care of," I said. "You are all like a second family to me, but right now my relationship with Edward is complicated and will take time to sort out." I crossed my arms across my chest uncomfortably as I heard myself say the words aloud. "And I won't make any promises because that wouldn't be fair to anyone." I looked over at Carlisle as he stood beside me and nodded in agreement.

"I understand," he said. "You know that whatever decision you make, we are here for you." He turned to face me. "You are a part of this family whether or not you are with Edward, Bella." I turned to face him with a smile just as I heard my phone beep in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw Charlie's number lighting up my screen and realized how terrible I was when it came to adhering to Charlie's grounding rules.

"I'd better be heading back, Charlie is going to kill me," I said just as I remembered how long I might have been taking here at the Cullen residence. I had lied to Charlie earlier when I told him that I had to make a pit stop at the library because I needed to do some additional research on my history paper and that he shouldn't wait on me because I wasn't sure when I would be done. As I prepared to head out of the door, I turned back to Carlisle one last time and wrapped my arms around him in an embrace.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

"Let me know if you need anything," he said as he kissed my hair and let go of me, pushing me to get going before I got in trouble with Charlie.

As I drove out of the Cullens' driveway and into the forest path that led to the main road, it had felt like a huge burden had been lifted off of me. Sure, there were quite a few more people that I needed to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with, but on the bright side, at least I threw my intentions out into the open and let someone know about them. This was the one thing that I had been dreading the most, only because I knew how difficult it would be for me to throw this out there. At the same time, I was happy that Carlisle understood everything, because that made it a lot easier for me too. And at the end of the day, he is and always will be someone I can run to for support, whether or not I am on good terms with Edward. Just because I wanted nothing to do with Edward does not mean that I want to lose contact with the rest of the Cullen family. In the end, I wanted everyone by my side and would try my absolute best to keep it that way.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

At the end of the day, Bella is who she is and the fact that she is/was so deeply in love with Edward is something to take note of. Sure, she's angry at his dumbass for ditching her so abruptly and without proper reason, but that doesn't mean that she has to hate the rest of his family. I'd like to keep a few Cullens in the picture because I feel like they could be used as good support characters for Bella's many different situations to come.

Thanks for reading! I hope you've liked the story so far.


	4. Tangled Darkness

**Chapter 4**

_**Tangled Darkness**_

"Stop," I said, breathing heavily. I was trying to push him off of me but it was impossible. He was as solid as a rock. I felt his cold lips smothering my face and then my neck as he worked his way downward, his hands traveling around my torso and then circling to my backside. He smelled like blood and alcohol and tobacco all mixed together to create an unforgettably haunting scent. I could feel tears crawling down my cheeks as I struggled to free myself in the enclosed space, fighting for dear life.

_What the hell was going on?_

My mind was racing as I kicked furiously, breaking the car window and feeling a tingling pain in my right ankle as I unintentionally cut myself.

"STOP IT!" I screamed, my voice shrill. More tears flooded and distorted my view so that everything around me was a blur, making it harder to see what was going on. He didn't seem to listen and I could feel his cold fingers unsnap the hinge on my bra as he reached behind and under my shirt. I screamed in horror as I felt his sickeningly cold lips sucking on the crook of my neck and forcing me down as I threw my fists at him every way I could. I cried even louder this time, wondering what I could do to save myself before he had his way with me.

_I couldn't die like this, _I thought angrily to myself. _Not tonight._

I continued kicking and screaming until I felt the numbness descending into my legs, forcing me to lay still as I panted uncontrollably. The rain outside was pouring down so hard on everything, washing away the blood from my cuts and freezing my muscles altogether. I cried my heart out, begging him to stop as my energy depleted by the second. "Please," I said desperately, my voice chocked up from all of the tears. "Please stop," I pleaded one last time, my conscience giving way as I slowly gave up.

I looked up into the peeled ceiling of this old car as he continued to work his way around my neck, the pressure getting heavier and more forceful. It was then that I closed my eyes as my life flashed before me and I fell into darkness.

I saw Jacob's face smiling back at me, all of his warmth and happiness enveloping me in a beautiful embrace. His eyes were as light as a summer day, and I suddenly felt a soothing calmness when I looked into them. He was telling me that everything would be okay, that this would be over before I knew it, that we were all meant to have a destiny. I called out to him and he opened his arms to me, beckoning for me to run over to him so that everything would be alright. "I'll love you until the end of time, Isabella," I heard him whisper from the distance.

"JAKE!" I yelled, even though I heard nothing come out of my mouth. More tears streamed down my face as I collapsed onto my knees, all hope lost as I stared helplessly at my best friend from the distance, unable to run into that warm heaven that I wanted so much to be a part of.

I had always wondered how it would end, but never in a million years would I have seen this coming. I realized that I loved Jacob more than life itself, and would give anything to be back beside him, my fingers tangled around his as we laughed about something only we shared. I would gladly trade in my soul if it meant seeing his smile light up the overcast of my days again. I would give anything to be back there, if it meant I could see him one last time.

Just as I felt his teeth sink into my skin, I snapped back into the cold reality before me. I groaned painfully one last time as everything faded to black and I slipped into a bottomless fall...

_I'm a satellite heart, lost in dark, _she sang into my ear, as soft and as lovely as ever. _I'm spun out so far. You stop, I start, _she continued as her last words wrapped up what I knew was the end. _But I'll be true to you. Yeah, I'll be true to you._

A breath of fresh air had slapped me in the face, waking me up from the sensory overload I had just experienced a moment ago. I woke up panting heavily and looked around my dark room as my desk and the sweaters on my side chair could be seen in the moonlit reflection. Tonight was cool and breezy, and I could hear the birds chirping outside, getting ready for dawn to arrive.

I looked down at my hands and saw that they were trembling. I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply, and then released all of the pressure I had previously felt. I then picked up my cell and scrolled down my contact list, looking for Jacob's name.

_I just had an awful nightmare. Can you come over? _I texted him. I sat there and proceeded to wait until someone would stay beside me. Tonight's nightmare was too real and I was afraid of what would happen next.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I got a little dramatic with this chapter and decided to go all out. And because I'm implying that Bella could've been raped in this scene, I've upped the rating to an M for this reason. Just a heads up. And for those of you who are still confused, the next chapter should clarify and explain this one.

Clue: The vampire that was almost about to assault Bella is not Edward. Also, I figured this chapter would be a good chance to get into Bella's head and see how traumatized she really is. A little darkness couldn't hurt.

Thank you for all of the reviews! They are most welcomed.


	5. Family Ties

**Chapter 5**

_**Family Ties**_

I ran my fingers through the fabric of the bedsheets as I saw the creases appear and then disappear. Whenever the leaves on the huge oak tree blew, the sunlight would shine through the window and onto the fabric in short bursts of brightness, illuminating the checkered print. The room was tiny but despite its size, this was where I felt safest. There was something homely about this place, something selectively exclusive. It was like a secret refuge that only I knew of, a place that I could run to no matter what time of day or night it was. No one could reach me here, these grounds were safe and guarded. This territory was claimed.

As my momentary lapse of distraction passed, I looked up and saw him rummaging through the drawers of the small wooden desk that he never used.

"Where in the world is that thing?" Jacob asked, his voice muffled as he ducked under the table to look behind the desk, hoping that whatever item he was looking for would magically appear before his eyes.

"Maybe you dropped it somewhere along the way," I responded idly, my vision following his rapid movements.

"Man." He sat upright in his chair, placed both of his hands on his knees and sighed in disappointment. "I don't know where I lost it," He said, defeated. He then turned around and looked at me for consolation. I shrugged, not able to say much because I didn't know where this mystery item had gone. Jacob wasn't exactly the cleanliest or most organized person either, so missing various personal belongings had become something I had gotten used to. In the end, though, the items would always reappear. Maybe he just had bad memory. It happens.

"Jake," I said, clearing my throat.

"Bella," he replied as he turned his back on me, starring at the messy pile of paper on his little desk, obviously distracted by the sudden loss of whatever item it was that he had misplaced.

"Thanks for coming over last night." He swiveled his chair around and looked at me with a blank expression. It took him a moment to process my words before he recalled last night and then smiled brightly.

"I said I'd be here for you," he replied as he smiled at me, making the blood rush up to my face in a blush. I hated when he did that, there was just too much attention on me.

"But your requirements as a best friend didn't say that you would be here for me in the early morning hours between 3 AM and 5 AM," I said, my gaze cast downward as I remembered everything that happened last night or, technically, this morning. I looked up and saw that he was still looking at me in that warm, loving sort of way. I smiled.

"Yeah, well," he began, "it comes with the territory."

"I guess it does," I said, more to myself than to him.

"Bella, can I ask you something?" I looked up at him, my brows furrowed. "Did something happen between you and... him? To cause these nightmares, I mean? Did he do something to you?"

It took me a moment to gather my thoughts and respond. Edward would never have done so much as speak to me inappropriately if he could help himself, let alone attempt to force me into having sex without my consent. "No, Edward has never done anything to make me even slightly uncomfortable," I said. "If anything, he's always careful and cautious around me because of how fragile I am compared to him."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Jacob said, his tone a little uneasy and unsure.

"It's okay," I said, nodding to myself. "I don't have anything to hide."

"Neither do I," Jacob said as he looked at me. A moment later, he darted across the small room to sit next to me on his bed. I instantly felt his body heat warm up the entire left side of mine. "It's just that," he began, looking down at my hands and then at the ground, "since this isn't the first time you've been having this nightmare, I figured it had to be related to something that happened between you and him."

"My nightmares are sort of an exaggeration from my interaction with James a year ago, before the Cullens killed him," I began. "When he confronted me, he was so close that I could smell the blood on his breath and it made me sick to my stomach. To make matters worse, it was his forcefulness that traumatized me more than anything." I felt myself tremble at the thought of how scared I was that night in the ballet studio. "All I could think of when he pinned me against the wall and was centimeters away from my face was how all of this was going to play out. Scenarios flashed before my eyes. Was I going to die a violent death, after being raped and then mauled by a complete stranger? Was this how my life would come to its end, after I hadn't even had the chance to _live _yet?" I could feel Jacob's eyes on me as I drifted deeper into my recollection of that night and all of my emotions were spilling out of me like a fountain.

"It's okay," Jacob said a moment later, and I felt the instantaneous warmness of his fingers intertwining with mine.

"I know," I said quietly. "I didn't have those nightmares until just recently, and it might be because the Cullens are back in town and I'm still processing what happened in Volterra."

"You know," Jacob began, "as much as I hate saying this, it might be a good idea to sit down with some of them and talk about what's going on."

"What do you mean?" I asked, curious to see where his train of thought was going.

"Talk to them about what happened while they were gone and how you're feeling about them right now. And if possible, leave on good terms with them." I looked at him, wide-eyed, surprised at his proposed idea.

"Are you serious about this?" I said as I narrowed my gaze, analyzing his expression to see if it was genuine. Sure enough, he seemed as oblivious to my disbelief as ever.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his confusion genuine.

"Nothing," I said with a smile. "I'm going to do just that."

"Good," he said. "Now, can we get something to eat? I'm starving." As if we timed our moments together perfectly, we disentangled our fingers and pulled away as we stood up, ready to get some fresh air.

"You're always starving," I said as I turned the knob of his door handle.

"I know," he responded nonchalantly, "it's a wolf thing."

As we exited Jacob's bedroom and made our way down the narrow hallway that led into the small living room, I saw Billy sitting on the couch, starring at his TV screen.

"We're going to grab a bite," Jacob said to his dad. "I'll be back later."

"Sounds good," Billy replied. "Bella, tell Charlie to not forget about tomorrow's game. He needs to be here by 5 PM or I'm not letting him in." I nodded with a smile as I opened the front door and exited the little red house with Jacob in tow.

As we made our way outside, I could hear laughter and voices a few feet away. As we got closer to my orange truck, I could see the rest of the wolf pack coming into view as they were heading toward Jacob's house. Paul was the first one who smiled at me in his playful but devious grin.

"Bella!" He yelled as he came closer. "Haven't seen you in a while!" He threw his arms around me as I struggled to get free. Before I could do this, I'm pretty it was Jared and Quil who surrounded me and squeezed me into a haphazard group hug.

"Hey guys," my voice was muffled by their howls of laughter as they proceeded to squeeze the life out of me. Just as they let go, I looked around and grinned. "How's it going?"

"The usual," Quil said, a smirk adorning his delicate features. "Where are you guys headed? We were just about to go and see if Jake was having dinner."

"We're starving," Embry said as he came into view. I nodded a silent hello in his direction as he smiled at me.

"Yeah, yeah," I replied as I turned my direction back to Paul and Quil, "it's a wolf thing, I get it." I looked over at Jacob to see if it was okay that we were all going to have dinner together. "You good?" I asked him. He nodded with a smile.

Two hours and eight large boxes of pizza later, everyone leaned back in their chairs as Emily tossed the last lot of utensils into the sink to be washed. Paul and Quil were in some sort of heated debate over the game that was currently on TV, and Sam had joined Emily in the kitchen as they chatted quietly. I looked around the house and committed everything I saw to memory. The people, their smiling faces, the sound of their laughter, and the way Jacob had been starring at me from across the table. When I looked around at everyone and then stopped at Jacob, I smiled. It was moments like these that reminded me of how blessed I was to have this family, to be able to be surrounded by the warmth and unconditional love that was in this little house. The world couldn't tear me down for anything - or anyone. I was at my strongest when I was here in this secluded little corner of the world.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

It's about time I bring the wolves into light because I adore them. There's not too much going on in this chapter because I'm so busy with work and everything else at the moment. I'm writing in the direction that my heart takes me. I am, however, really happy that you (the readers) are enjoying this story so far. I'm just sorry that I can't update any sooner and when I do, it's nothing terribly significant or epic. The next chapter should be better!

Again, thank you for all of the favorites and reviews. I really, deeply appreciate the response this story is getting. Reviews continue to be welcomed and appreciated!


	6. Empty Conversation

**Chapter 6**

**_Empty Conversation_

* * *

**

_In the full moon's light I listen to the stream,_

_and in between the silence hear you calling me,_

_but I don't know who I am and I don't trust who I've been,_

_but if I come home, how will I ever leave?_

The Black Ghosts - Full Moon

* * *

Is it really necessary to have so many complications come to light in one week? Just a month ago, I had been as happy as I knew I could've been under the circumstances. Now, I don't know what I feel anymore.

"Whatever you throw out into the universe will come back to you," Rosalie Hale said. She was combing out sparkling strands of hair with her marble fingers as she looked at me and sighed.

"You can't prove that," I said sheepishly, unable to fight her words. She was always the voice of reason.

"It's not a fact, it's just the way it works," she finished. As I looked up at her, she smiled.

"It's good to have you back," I concluded. She nodded in agreement.

Outside, it was a bearable 55 degrees. Inside, the house was heated to a lulling 78 degrees and if I had been sitting here alone, I would have probably fallen asleep. Fast. Rosalie finally got around to freeing up her time so that we could spend more of it together and I could vent to her. After all, we had grown strangely close during Edward's sudden departure, and she was the only one who reached out to me when I had arrived at my emotional tipping point. Talk about perfect timing.

"How are things with you and Emmett?" I asked as I flipped through her latest edition of _Vogue_, fanning the pages without really looking at anything inside. This wasn't my first choice of reading. None of her magazines were.

"We're just about as adventurous as any human couple," she said unenthusiastically, rolling her eyes a bit for added measure. "He never wants to do anything spontaneous anymore." She stopped midway on a few strands of hair and looked at me, wide-eyed. "I think we're in a rut," she concluded, more to herself than to me. "How pathetic."

"It happens," I said, as useless at consoling as ever.

"It hasn't happened to us for 150 years," she replied nonchalantly, as if relationships normally lasted more than a century. I smiled at the thought, amused at her world perception. I loved different perspectives. Maybe that's why I attracted monsters of all kinds as friends and acquaintances.

"Times change, even for you guys," I said as I put _Vogue_ down and pulled my knees up to my chest. I looked at Rosalie as she starred at the ground and then met my eyes a minute later.

"Are you hungry?" She asked. For a vampire, Rosalie was surprisingly attentive to human needs. I shrugged, not quite sure whether I wanted to eat something. Whenever I was in the company of the Cullens, my appetite was the last thing on my mind.

"Not really," I said after a moment of thought.

Just then, I heard the the door click downstairs. Someone came home. Before I could say anything, Emmett appeared in the doorway and smiled at the sight of Rosalie and me.

"Hey, little Swan," he said, smiling wide with all of his teeth shining. I smiled and got up to give him a bear hug. Before I sat myself back down again, I looked over to see him hovering above Rosalie as they looked at each other contemplatively. A second later, he planted a kiss in her hair as she donned an unreadable expression. Maybe Rosalie was right, maybe they really were in a rut. Judging from the way Emmett planted a kiss in her hair when she clearly wanted that kiss to go elsewhere was a little too obvious. Poor Rosalie.

"So what are you ladies up to for the day?" Emmett asked, cutting the silence with a knife. I looked at Rosalie, my face blank, still not quite sure what was going on at the moment. She didn't bother looking at me or the love of her life but instead, flipped through a magazine that I hadn't seen up until now.

"We might take a drive up to the cliffs for some fresh air," she said flatly, the pages fanning her golden hair everywhere. "And maybe shopping a little later?" She finally shot me a look of menace as I nodded thoughtlessly, smart enough not to disagree with Rosalie when she was trying to pick a fight with Emmett.

"That sounds great!" Emmett said brightly, unwilling to be brought down by Rosalie's lack of attention. "Where's Carlisle?" He asked a second later, not sparing a second for any awkward silences. He looked at me and something told me it was more for consolation than an actual answer. I smiled halfheartedly like I always did with Emmett, letting him know that I was just as much there for him as I was for Rosalie. I wasn't playing sides. Then again, I had to hide my neutralism toward both of these parties, unless I wanted to face the passive aggressive wrath of Rosalie herself.

"I think he might be downstairs," I said lowly.

"Alright, I'll see you later, Bella," Emmett said, and then dashed out of Rosalie's doorway a millisecond later, before I had a chance to wave goodbye.

"You didn't have to be so mean," I blurted out, not realizing my words until after I had said them aloud. Rosalie dropped her magazine onto her lap and turned around to face me.

"Yeah, well," she began, nodding disinterestedly, "he's clueless." She yelled the word "clueless" one more time as she threw her hands up in the air, clearly frustrated. Only Rosalie could throw her hands up in the air and still look uncommonly classy in doing so. It was kind of ridiculous. Of course, I just sat there and stared at her rapid movements, not sure whether or not it was time to get going.

As we headed downstairs, I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him standing there, mid-conversation with Carlisle, who's back faced me. As he looked up and saw me, he smiled. Carlisle immediately turned around and smiled at me as well. I then suddenly realized that there were too many Cullen men grinning mysteriously at me. I didn't know whether this was weird or flattering. I stopped on the second to last step, Rosalie in tow.

"Bella," Carlisle said pleasurably, donning a magnificent smile. "It's good to have you here." I threw one hand in the air, meaning for it to be some sort of casual wave, and smiled awkwardly. I had no words.

Then, finally, he spoke to me amidst the silence.

"Bella," Edward's melodious voice had said, "can I talk to you for a minute?"

* * *

Between the blur of what seemed to be Rosalie and Carlisle suddenly dispersing into one of the other rooms in the house and Edward escorting me into his own room, I felt as if I were trapped in some sort of familiar nightmare. Like I had the chance to escape but I chose not to, because I needed to hear what Edward had to say. I think I was seeking closure in that nightmare. Anyway, for whatever reason, I followed Edward without a word of protest.

As he closed the door behind us, I turned around to get a look at him. Before I could muse over his recent haircut, he turned and looked up at me, his eyes a deep ocher. If there was one thing I remember specifically about Edward, it was the depth of his eyes. They said everything he sometimes couldn't say. Right now, they were seeping with emotions that I didn't have the heart to come to terms with. In the brief seconds that I starred helplessly into those eyes, I saw an all-encompassing sort of melancholy, an accepted sadness. I didn't know what to do and just as I caught myself, I swallowed the lump that was in my throat and darted my eyes to the ground. I shook my head, disapproving of myself altogether. My heart was like a wellspring of unnecessary torment. The minute someone showed any signs of pain or sadness, my sympathy would give way and screw me over.

"How are you doing?" Edward asked softly as he broke the silence, the tone of his voice even and soothing. I took a deep breath, exhaled, and looked back up at him. I smiled faintly as I shoved my hands into the back pockets of my jeans.

"I'm okay," I said, my voice coming out deceptively calm. Inside, panic was brimming off the edge and about to pour over.

"When did you get here?" He asked as he placed his own two hands into the front pockets of his jeans. A nervous smile spread across his porcelain face. Something told me that he might have been more apprehensive than I was at the moment.

"A while ago," I said. "Rosalie mentioned that you were running errands with Emmett." I'm sure my brow was raised into a sympathetic and worrying sort of expression. "I was hoping to leave before you had gotten back," I finished, throwing a nervous smile his way. He returned the expression.

"I," he began, pausing midway, "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm doing alright," I responded, my tone more reassuring than responsive.

"That's good," he said quietly, his eyes averted to the ground and his brow crinkled the way it always was when he was nervous or worried about something.

"Edward," I said as he immediately looked up at me, "how are you doing?" He blinked, not entirely sure what the question was in the first place. It took him a few seconds to get an answer out.

"I'm okay," he said softly, that faint smile adorning his statue-like features.

"That's good," I said. A few incredibly long seconds ticked by as we stood in the middle of his room and looked around each other rather than directly at each other. I had words that could have easily come out but I bit my lip in hesitation because I somehow figured that it was probably better if he spoke first. I was never the one to break the silence, unless it was my last chance to do so. And I mean _last_.

I had had enough time to come to the conclusion that the next few seconds that passed by were indeed the longest seconds of my life. This was a time in which my personal philosophy of refusing to "break the silence" was shot to hell. The clock was ticking. There were things to do. More importantly, this was indescribably awkward.

I pulled my hands out of my pockets, my motion interrupting the stillness of everything in the room. I looked up at Edward. "I have to go," I said evenly, my eyes fixed to his. I stood there a moment longer and then proceeded to head past him and to the door. As my hand landed on the elegant black steel doorknob, I felt a coldness encircle my other wrist. I immediately looked back and saw Edward's pale fingers still enclosed around my wrist.

"Bella," Edward began, his voice rising. "Why can't I see you anymore?"

I shook my wrist free and peered up into his face, screening his emotions. "What are you talking about?" Was all I could muster, as I was still processing his question, not sure whether I was peeved or mystified. He looked at me, his eyes wide with confusion.

"This separation," he said slowly, shaking his head. "It shouldn't be this way. You should be here, with me." He continued shaking his head as if disagreeing with his every word, all the while trapping me in his ocher gaze. "You shouldn't be in a place where I can't even reach you," he said. He then stopped his rapid movements and his face as still as that of a statue. He then stood there as the seconds ticked by, waiting for my response, my explanation.

I shook my head in confusion, my eyes drawn to the ground as I gathered all of my thoughts into one place. "I-I'm not ready to change anything right now," I said halfheartedly. I looked up at him to gauge his reaction.

"So you're planning to spend the rest of your time with that _dog_," Edward said in a near whisper, more to himself than to me. My emotions had suddenly shifted in response to his comment and now my sense of defeat was morphing into frustration.

"I'm not willing to forgive you for what you did, Edward," I said firmly, once and for all. He looked down at me, a flash of shock appearing and then disappearing on his porcelain face. "There's a reality to all of this and I'm surprised that you of all people still can't understand what's going on."

"Nothing is going on," Edward said flatly.

"A lot of things are going on," I said, my confidence rising with every second that passed. "I'm not a ticking clock, Edward. My emotions don't just expire within some time frame. I make my choices consciously and right now, this 'separation' is what I choose." I looked at him as he nodded in disagreement and yet, he couldn't say anything.

"That's fine," he said at last.

"Fine," I said. "I'll show myself out. Good night." I dashed out of the room and down the stairs, bidding Carlisle and Rosalie goodbye as I sprinted to my truck and revved the engine. I felt a hungry desperation to get home as quickly as possible and get away from this place, from Edward.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So this turned out to be an unnecessarily long chapter and I apologize for whoever's eyes I might have damaged in the process. That aside, I wanted to give a bit of insight into the relationship between Rosalie and Bella. And I don't know how else to say this, but... it was kind of difficult to make Edward sound possessive or unreasonable so I went with him being oblivious and blinded by love instead. Ugh, how lame. Next chapter - wolves! YAY.


	7. Devilish Manners

**Chapter 7**

_**Devilish Manners

* * *

**_

_My love, leave yourself behind._

_Beat inside me, leave you blind._

_My love, you have found peace._

_You were searching for release._

Sia - My Love

* * *

He was my first sunrise in the morning. My softest sunset in the evening. My brightest constellation at night. He was the universe that breathed life into me. Everything revolved around him or the idea of him.

_My love._

There was nothing more selfless. Nothing in the whole of this universe compared to the rest of my life with him. He was so heartbreakingly beautiful. His actions screamed a thousand different things, and his words made my love that much clearer. No break in time or space could force me to see otherwise. The life I knew was with him.

In all seriousness, I was avoiding this uber dramatic realization to myself for a while now. There were so many signs but I ignored all of them because I thought differently. I figured I was rebounding and didn't want him to get hurt because I was too selfish to cope alone. But the months have passed and time doesn't lie. I still feel the same circling butterflies in my stomach every time I see him approach me, and it still feels like the air around me gets sucked into a vacuum when he's standing too close. These recurring emotions should be sign enough that something extraordinary is happening to me.

"Bella?"

I pictured a field of scarlet pimpernels around me just as the daydream vanished at the call of my name. "Hmm?" I replied in a daze.

"Are you okay?"

I turned around to face him and as soon as my eyes met his, those butterflies began to flutter incessantly for the millionth time. _Stupid butterflies_, I thought annoyingly. "I-I'm alright," I said as I physically shook the thoughts out of my head like some crazy person. I smiled halfheartedly as I starred at him and committed everything to memory. This is what I saw at that very moment...

He wore a charcoal v-neck that fitted him just right - it was neither too tight nor too loose. So much so that I couldn't tear my eyes away from how this simple shirt was hugging his 6"2 frame so wonderfully. Now, while I know that this hormonal imbalance of mine was getting out of hand and slightly ridiculous, what else is a girl to do? Anyway, my eyes trailed the seamless lines of his upper body and the way this v-neck seemed to emphasize all of the right areas, from his chest to his biceps to his forearms to his hands to his fingers. His skin was the most beguiling shade of chamoisee I had ever seen, as smooth as silk without any imperfections. Ever since he was forced to cut his hair, he's been a little more self conscious and has been styling it whenever he can, especially when he sees me (I've noticed this more times that I would like to). So he's got this effortlessly structured mess of hair cropped close and it highlights his boyishness in the midst of all of his masculine features. Of course, I could never forget his eyes, a deep and alluring shade of chestnut that whenever he looks at me and asks for a favor, I would absentmindedly accept without resistance (a mildly dangerous effect to experience at certain times). And for the hundredth time, I came to the irrevocable conclusion that Jacob Black was effortlessly _gorgeous_. He wasn't the Jacob I remember meeting a year and a half ago, a lanky and immature teenager who couldn't stop mumbling or get himself into trouble. The Jacob that sat across from me right now was tall, chiseled, dark, gentlemanly and handsome, and he knew all of the right words to say because he never panicked or let his temper get out of control. He was a man's man and despite whatever selfishness others might have seen in him in the past, I inherently knew that his heart was always in the right place.

"Bella?" Jacob said a second time as I snapped out of my reverie and looked at him for real this time. He was laughing. "You're looking at me like I'm your favorite Italian meal."

A blush worked its way up to my cheeks. "Sorry," I said, defeated, "I was just thinking about something."

"Right," he said, his brow arched upward, skeptical. He grinned as he kept his eyes on me. Despite my lack of brain activity at the moment, I still had enough thought to figure that he was amused by all of this.

"You're," I began, pausing abruptly as I looked at him, my words tangled and lost inside my head.

"I'm what, Bella?" He egged on, his handsome grin getting wider and wider.

"I'm not going to say it," I sighed, shaking my head in disapproval.

"Why not?" He asked in his husky voice as he scooted in closer until our knees were touching. I felt his fingers trace the length of my arms as he then worked his way down to my hands where he tangled our fingers together. His elbows rested on his knees and he bent lower so that his eyes were level with mine and as I looked at him, I was gone. He did that thing where he arched his beautiful eyebrows up into a pleading grin and at that point, whatever self control I had was lost. Rather than answering him, I leaned in for a kiss.

I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him in. When our lips touched, I could feel an electric current run through my body as our kiss deepened with rising intensity. I moved closer up until I had the opportunity to wrap my legs around him and he complimented the move by pulling me in. The world fell away as I closed my eyes and locked myself in this moment when I was closest with Jacob, where his long arms wrapped around me so secure and protective. He smelled like a mix of his aftershave and the woody forest, and the intoxication became even stronger as the seconds ticked by. My arms untangled themselves from his neck and found their way down to his torso where I tugged on the cotton of his shirt as my lips were still entwined with his. I continued to tug, beckoning for him to cooperate and remove his shirt but he refused. As I tugged even harder this time, one stitch away from ripping his shirt off altogether, I heard people laughing close by. I jolted and tore myself away from Jacob in a matter of seconds, horrified as I looked around for the source of the sound.

"Don't let us stop you," I heard a familiar voice say. I looked to my right and saw Paul and Leah standing on Jacob's porch. A grin was plastered across Paul's face while Leah had a hand over her mouth, giggling. I felt the most extreme heat work its way to my cheeks and despite how cold it was outside, I'm sure my reaction was noticeable from a mile away. I looked at Jacob and he was smiling, more at my reaction than what just happened. I was apparently alone in my shame.

"I should go," I said, more to myself than to everyone else that was watching me at the moment. I shook my head, smiled, and then sighed in regards to my pathetic sense of judgment when it came to making out with Jacob at all the wrong times and in all the wrong places.

"You should stay," Jacob said. "We're having dinner at Sam's and Emily wanted to see you."

"Stay, Bella," Leah insisted, "and don't let us interrupt your makeout session the next time around." A smile had spread wide across her lovely face. Paul laughed mockingly as he stood there in silence.

I nodded with a smile. "Can we grab dessert for Emily and Sam?" I asked as I looked over at Jacob. He nodded and stood up, holding a hand out to me. I took it and raised myself up and we headed for his car.

"You guys coming?" Jacob hollered at the two that were still standing on the porch. Seconds later, the four of us piled into his car and headed for a nearby bakery.

* * *

It was twilight outside, a couple of hours after the sunset. The sky was beginning to turn into a bluish purple, draping everything in darkness. About five miles out, there was a bakery that was owned by a woman named Marci who belonged to the Quileute tribe. Her bakery was a homely place with all of the right lighting and all of the best pastries for any occasion. She was a woman of many talents, both in baking and in business. People from all parts of town made a point to drive the distance to come down here and pick up their pastries. Her treats were that good. Naturally, I was not immune to Marci's delicious works of art.

We spent roughly 15 minutes in the bakery, Marci chatting with Paul and Jacob, giving them tidbits of useful gossip about the town and the reservation. Nothing could get past Marci, she was always the first person to know whenever something was happening in town. Leah and I stood back and waited for our order, since Marci insisted that she had a new batch of cream puffs coming out of the oven in a few minutes. The shop was empty, save the elderly couple that sat by the window, sipping their coffee and talking quietly. I looked around the place and out into the darkness where our car was parked. I saw a flash of something I couldn't make out from where I was standing, so I took a step forward until I stood in front of the entrance. I peered outside and saw that same flickering flash of light again. It was dim at first but when I concentrated and stared at that spot, I could see that something was there.

"Leah," I said as I waved my arm and beckoned for her to come stand beside me. "Do you see that?"

"What am I looking at?" Leah said as she peered out into the darkness.

"You don't see that flickering light? It's a reddish brown light and it keeps flickering in and out."

"I don't see anything," she said, "but Marci should really consider putting a lamp post out there, it gets to be pretty dark at this time of day." Before she could finish that thought, I opened the door and ran outside. "Bella!" I heard her call after me.

"Give me one second!" I yelled as I turned around to see if she had stepped out. As I turned back toward the darkness, I ran straight into what I could've sworn to be a huge rock and I felt my arm give way to a bruise. "Ouch!" I cried as the pain hit me. A second later, the realization that some _thing _had taken hold of both of my arms had set in and I fell silent. I looked up and saw the same flickering light I had seen from back in the bakery and realized that it belonged to the eyes of the figure that I had just run into. I didn't have the heart to scream because I was panicking and shock began to set in.

"Shhhhhh," the figure said. "Make a sound and I'll break your other arm." I felt cold fingers trail the length of my arms as they made their way down my backside and pulled me in close. "That's a good girl," the voice said.

Why did this voice sound so familiar? I couldn't see a single thing in this darkness, except for those eyes, their color a more concentrated reddish brown as I stood inches away from them. "W-who are you?" I said in a shaky whisper, fear creeping in from all sides.

"You know who I am," the voice said as it drew closer to my face and whispered into my ear. All I heard was the sound of his breath getting steeper as his hands continued to explore the length of my body. I somehow knew that if I tried to fight back or resist, I would've been paralyzed in some way. I closed my eyes as tears made their way down my face and I tried to concentrate on anything else but what was happening now. There were too many things happening at once that my thoughts had flatlined and I blanked out. After what seemed like a lifetime, I heard the distant voice of Leah.

"BELLA?" She yelled. "BELLA, WHERE ARE YOU?"

I could hear her footsteps getting closer and I let out a gasp before he threw a hand over my mouth and prevented me from saying anything. "I _will _hurt you if you let out a sound," he said. "Not a word." I felt his fingers burn into the bruise that was already forming on my injured arm as he made his statement clear.

"BELLA!" I heard Jacob yell a few feet away. "BELLA, DO YOU HEAR ME?"

They were all so close. The only person who's voice I didn't hear was Paul's and just as this thought ran through my mind, I felt the pressure release from my arm. Within the blur of a few seconds in this biting darkness, I was released and everything seemed to be happening simultaneously at the same moment. First, I heard the menacing growl of a wolf standing beside me. I then heard some sort of scuffle and the person that was holding onto me a moment earlier had now vanished, there was no trace of him anywhere. Then I heard myself fall to the ground with a thud and the pain of my arm becoming more acute as I landed right on it. I screamed in pain and then everyone seemed to tower over me as I was dragged out of the darkness and into the clearing of the parking lot.

"Bella!" Jacob yelled as he carried me in his arms and looked me over to see the damage. "Are you hurt? Let me see your arm."

"I-I don't know," I said, shaking. There was still so much going on that I didn't know where to begin.

"Bella, you need to tell us what happened," Leah said as she opened the door to Marci's bakery and we all went inside. Jacob lowered me into a chair and kneeled down beside me to look at my arm more closely.

"Paul," I said wearily as I looked around, "where's Paul?"

"He's coming in right now," Jacob said, his face laced with anger and worry and a thousand other things. Just as I looked at him, I heard the door bell ring as Paul walked in with nothing but his cut-offs on. He kneeled down beside Jacob to check out my arm.

"It was one of them," he said quietly as his eyes darted from Jacob to Leah. "He took off before I could get a bite in." There was an ominous silence that followed his words. I noticed that Jacob looked around the shop to make sure it was completely empty. Marci was busy putting on a pot of tea in the back and making sure she had all of the doors to the shop locked since it was closing hour.

"They're not even supposed to be on this side of town," Leah said. "Bella, what happened?"

"He threatened me," I said as I took a deep breath to cease the pain momentarily. "He said that if I made a sound, he would hurt me." I paused, took another breath, and continued. "He had his hands all over me and I could hear his breathing getting steeper, I'm not sure what he would've done if Paul hadn't gotten there when he did."

"That son of a bitch," Jacob said. "Do you remember what he looked like?" He wrapped his hands around my fingers and held them tight, hoping to squeeze the pain out and get me as close to comfort as possible. He was so angry and worried that he didn't know what to do with himself.

Just as I was about to tell Jacob to relax, a horrific realization had dawned on me. Everything was coming back to me now. Every syllable, every movement, every scent. My attacker was someone I knew well. And there was a very subtle Southern twang to that menacing voice that made him all the more alluring and controlling. My giving up on resisting him wasn't exactly a coincidence either, there had to have been something controlling my emotions.

"Bella?" Paul said, "Bella, what's wrong?"

"I know who it is," I said in a whisper as my gaze fell to the ground. "The person who attacked me was Jasper Hale."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Jacob Black is gorgeous and I figured I'd clarify that. Of course, we all have our own versions of Jacob and mine happens to fall in line with a certain actor who, in my opinion, would've been wonderful as Jacob. Anyway, all the skeeving aside, I hope you liked this chapter. And Jasper Hale? _WHAT? _We'll just have to see what happens in the upcoming chapters!

Again, thank you for all of your support, whether it is through reviews and/or messages. This story continues onward because of its readers. Your response is always welcome and appreciated. Also, I'm sorry for having these chapters written/published so slowly. I've got a lot going on both personally and professionally but I'll try to make it more consistent. Just stay with me!


	8. Changing Plans

**Chapter 8**

_**Changing Plans**_

"Jasper Hale?" Jacob asked. "Are you sure it was him?"

I nodded. "Positive."

"Bella's right," Paul said. "It had to have been him. I've only encountered that scent once before and I never forget a scent."

"What exactly happened when he saw you?" Jacob asked as he looked over at Paul.

"He released her and headed south of Marci's place. He seemed to be caught off guard, I don't think he expected any one of us to be so close."

After the attack, the four of us followed Marci back to the reservation to make sure that she had gotten home safe. We then headed for Sam's place, where we told him everything that had happened while Emily had cleaned the scrapes and bruising on my arm before bandaging it up. Sam made some calls and was on and off the phone for the past hour. Paul and Leah were sitting at the dining table as they finished dinner, while Jacob sat beside me on the couch, my legs resting comfortably in his lap. I could tell that he was on edge; he was worried and anxious to hear from Sam of any news regarding what had happened tonight.

"Can I talk to you for a second, Jake?" Sam asked as he stepped into view, placing his phone on the table. Jacob planted a kiss in my hair before standing back up again. As he walked over to Sam, Emily made her way to the couch with a cup of tea and a plate of pastries in hand.

"Here you go," she said as she placed the contents down on the coffee table and then sat beside the plate of cream puffs. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better," I said, my gaze wandering over to where Sam and Jacob stood, their conversation looking intense as their voices came in and out of hearing. Emily noticed my preoccupation and followed suit, turning around to get a look at them. She then turned back around to face me a moment later.

"None of this makes any sense," she said thoughtfully as she crossed her arms over her chest. "What could Jasper possibly have to gain from attacking you? Wasn't he the one who killed that vampire a few months ago?"

"Yeah," I said, the less-than-desirable memory of James wanting to kill me coming back all too clearly. "He was the one that burned James at the stake," I recalled. "I don't understand why he would attack me the way he did." I turned my fixation to Emily, who's long black hair was so voluminous and striking that it shined under the ordinary lamps in her living room. I was momentarily amazed before she broke my concentration as she spoke her next words.

"Either way," she said, "you might want to be a little more careful the next time around. Running off into the woods alone after dark isn't the smartest way to satisfy your curiosity."

"You're right," I admitted. "That was a stupid mistake and it won't happen again." I looked at her, expecting a stern stare-down but instead, she patted me on the knee and smiled.

"There are a lot of people who care about you, Bella," she said. "But we can't look out for you if you're running into danger head-on. Get my gist?"

"I totally do," I said. "I really have to keep my retarded sense of curiosity in check because this is out of control." I nodded in disapproval at myself. This really was getting out of hand. "But thanks, Emily," I concluded. "I appreciate the love." She laughed as she handed me my cup of tea.

A few minutes after our conversation, Jacob came back to his original spot on the couch and sat down, making sure to put my feet back in his lap. He looked flushed, like he had gotten out of an argument.

"What happened?" Emily asked as he situated himself.

"It looks like nobody knows what the hell is going on," he said evenly. "Dad is telling us to back off because we're not sure it's one of them, even though Bella had already confirmed it."

"Billy's got a point, Jake," Sam said as he walked over and sat in the armchair next to Emily. "We aren't sure of anything at this point and we can't accuse them of something this serious when we've got nothing."

"Bella's confirmation doesn't seem like nothing to me," Jacob said in retaliation.

"Bella, what was it about the attacker that made you sure it was Jasper Hale?" Sam asked, leaning in so that he could be at eye level with me.

"There is the possibility that my mind could've been playing tricks on me," I said as I looked over at Jacob, "but as soon as he threatened me, I gave in without resisting. It seemed like I had instantly let go of whatever self control I had and followed his every word. And then there was that Southern twang I heard in his voice when he spoke."

Sam nodded, taking every word to thought. "But you also said that his voice was different in some way, correct?"

"It was deeper, more strained," I answered.

"And that's where we fall short," Sam concluded.

"What are you thinking?" Jacob asked a second later, as if he and Sam had been conversing telepathically the entire time.

"We could give Carlisle a call and get his opinion," Sam replied.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Emily asked, always the rational one. If I thought Sam to be overly rational, his soul mate took the trophy for that category. But she had a point. Maybe it wasn't the best time for this news to get out. Then again, when would it be? It was now or never. The more time we took in delaying this, the more likely a second attack would follow.

"Carlisle's a good guy, he would know exactly what to do," Sam said as he nodded at Emily. She nodded back with a faint smile, not sure if there was any room left for disagreement in the matter.

"You should invite him over," Leah interrupted. "I don't think him being in the area with his family will do us any good, they're bound to hear the conversation."

"Good point," Sam agreed and with that, picked up his phone and dialed Carlisle's number.

* * *

Carlisle Cullen arrived at Sam's place within the hour. None of us heard him arrive, save Jacob as he gently lifted my legs off of his lap and made his way to the window. I saw the way he eyed that ultra sleek 500 Series Mercedes-Benz as it purred into its parking spot and went into sleep mode. As Carlisle ascended the stairs, he rose a hand to knock and just before he could do this, Jacob had already opened the door. The vampire doctor greeted him with a genuine smile and held out his hand. Jacob took his hand with a stern expression. He then looked over in my direction.

"Bella," Carlisle said as he followed Jacob's gaze over to me. A soft frown adorned his statuesque features as he eyed the length of me and assessed my injuries feet away. I'm sure that he knew I was alright, or else he would've marched over and started pulling out bandages and syringes and who knows what else. "What happened?" He asked as he looked around at everyone a moment later.

"Some _thing_ attacked her," Paul said suddenly. Carlisle looked up at Paul, beckoning for him to continue but as soon as Paul met Carlisle's eyes, he looked over at Sam for further direction. He didn't want to blurt out anything that he wasn't supposed to be blurting out, especially at a time like this. As always, Sam took the lead.

"Some sort of creature attacked Bella," Sam began uneasily, his eyes glued to Carlisle.

"And you're suspecting that it was one of our kind," Carlisle concluded. Sam shot him a surprised look, not sure of how to respond but nodded in silence a moment later. The room fell quiet as we all awaited the doctor's observations. After a few minutes of silent thought, he spoke. "Seattle has had a spike in missing persons," he began. "My guess is that we have a new breed of newborns running loose in the city." He looked around the room at everyone, gaging all of our reactions.

"So what does that mean?" Leah interjected.

"It means that there are new vampires running rampant, without guidance or direction. They're hungry and they will kill the first person they see," Carlisle said. And just when I thought that the house couldn't get any quieter, everything and everyone in it seemed to fall under an even thicker curtain of silence as we mused over what was just said. More vampires, especially new ones, meant more irreparable damage. There was just no other way to put it. And this was the worst news I had heard since I realized that Victoria was coming after me.

"This is an even bigger issue than I had originally thought," Sam said, a finger placed thoughtfully on his chin as he stared at Carlisle.

"I'm aware of that," the vampire doctor responded. "And I had meant to call you tomorrow about this because I figured that we could work out a strategy to deal with this."

"Why should we help you?" Paul asked, irritated by Carlisle's assurance.

"Because we all have a part in this," Jacob said, speaking for the first time since Carlisle's arrival. All eyes turned to him. "Having newborns in the city means there are lives at stake. Could you imagine what would happen when they get to Forks? We're all in trouble because they don't care about boundaries, they care about blood."

I looked over at Carlisle and saw him smiling at Jacob's words. He seemed completely satisfied with my boyfriend's observations and I was too.

"Jake is right," Sam echoed. "We need to put aside our differences this one time and see what we can do to prevent these newborn vampires from destroying our home."

"With the way things are going at the moment, we have to move quickly with our planning," Carlisle said. "I am formally inviting you and your pack to join my family and I at our house tomorrow afternoon. Will you be there?" He looked at Sam and Jacob.

"We'll be there," Jacob said.

"Good," the doctor replied as he got up and prepared for the door.

"Thanks for coming over, Carlisle," I said. He turned around and smiled at me and before I could do or say anything in return, he was out the door. I heard his car purr and then speed off and on to the main road.

Tomorrow was going to be interesting.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Work has been sucking the soul out of me and all I've been wanting to do is sleep or go out. My writing is collecting dust on the shelf! What a shame! Again - stay with me! This story is continuing no matter how long it takes. Thank you for your continued support, you are all very awesome human beings. I appreciate it.


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